Cognitive Distortions & Mental Impact

We have many negative thinking patterns we may not even register. They aren't ours, but we have adopted them as our own. We may have learned from family, friends, or experiential knowledge by people watching. I don't care how you got it, we all have them. Let's figure out which you have and how to alter the mentality so we don't have to carry other people's bad thinking patterns forever.

Cognitive distortions are central to emotional dysregulation. You may notice that there are certain things that cause you to go overboard or maybe it impacts your relationship stability? You may have a subconscious fear of abandonment, because you have had a parent not present... or maybe they were physically present but had zero capacity for emotional needs, which you took that you were too needy, distrust your intuition of how you feel, learn your needs don't matter due to their emotional limitations and dismissiveness, or maybe it has impacted your need to focus externally by people pleasing as a way to supplement your appreciation from others.

When we effectively identify distortions, we can temper our emotional responses, regulate ourselves more effectively, build better boundaries, and create healthier relationships with others as well as ourself! So, ask yourself, when you’re upset, what does your inner voice usually say? This will help you identify your emotional reasoning, negative labeling, and potentially catastrophizing tendencies. What story are you telling yourself about this situation? This may help you lay out the narrative distortions you are authoring in your brain. When you ask yourself what those inner thoughts mean about YOU, you will effectively uncover core beliefs you have about yourself about failure, worthiness, and defectiveness.

Sometimes we need to be more of a friend to ourselves. I'm sure you have heard people say before that "We are our own worst critics". The truth is that we are generally more critical of ourselves, but don't hold other people to the same standard we subject ourselves to. Ask yourself how other people would view the same situation. This will help you recognize if you are struggling with negative, self-sabotaging mental olympics. The better way to approach things is to challenge the thinking with evidence to counter your thought instead of letting your brain gaslight you into a false reality. Maybe explore past childhood survival strategies you've been practicing by fielding if these thoughts have derived from a younger version of yourself... because it may be time to start evolving your thinking. In with the new, out with the old!

Before you jump ahead, take the test then use the information about each category after as a self-help tool to alter your thinking. This is not an effort to self-diagnose, but rather to build awareness and challenge limiting thoughts about your way of thinking. Without further ado, get out your notepad and start tallying points.

Cognitive Distortion Assessment Quiz

For each statement, rate how often the thought feels true for you.

0 – Never

1 – Rarely

2 – Sometimes

3 – Often

4 – Almost Always

Part 1 — All-or-Nothing Thinking (Items 1–6)

1. I see things as completely good or completely bad.

2. If I make one mistake, I feel like the whole thing is ruined.

3. I think in extremes like “always” or “never.”

4. If something isn’t perfect, I feel like it’s a failure.

5. I believe people are either totally for me or totally against me.

6. There’s no middle ground in most situations.

Part 2 — Catastrophizing (Items 7–12)

7. When something goes wrong, I expect the worst to happen.

8. I quickly imagine disaster scenarios.

9. Small problems feel like big emergencies.

10. Uncertainty makes me feel like something terrible is coming.

11. I have trouble calming my mind once I imagine the worst.

12. I often think, “What if everything falls apart?”

Part 3 — Overgeneralization (Items 13–18)

13. If something bad happens once, I expect it to happen again.

14. I make broad conclusions from one situation.

15. I often say “This always happens to me.”

16. I assume patterns based on one or two experiences.

17. I let one setback define the whole situation.

18. One negative event affects how I see myself overall.

Part 4 — Emotional Reasoning (Items 19–24)

19. I trust my feelings more than facts.

20. When I feel something strongly, I assume it's true.

21. If I feel inadequate, I believe I truly am.

22. My emotions influence my interpretation of events.

23. I often confuse feelings with reality.

24. Feeling anxious or sad makes me assume something is wrong.

Part 5 — Mind Reading (Items 25–30)

25. I often assume I know what others are thinking.

26. I believe people judge me even without proof.

27. I assume negative motives instead of asking.

28. I expect people are upset with me but don’t check.

29. I take people's behavior personally without evidence.

30. I react based on what I think others feel, not what they say.

Part 6 — Fortune-Telling (Items 31–36)

31. I predict bad outcomes before things happen.

32. I “just know” things won’t work out.

33. I assume new things will be failures.

34. I avoid risks because I expect disappointment.

35. I assume people will react negatively.

36. I feel certain things will go wrong without real reason.

Part 7 — Personalization (Items 37–42)

37. I blame myself for things that aren’t fully my responsibility.

38. If someone is upset, I assume it's my fault.

39. I feel responsible for other people’s emotions.

40. I take things personally even when unrelated to me.

41. I feel guilty often, even for minor things.

42. I assume my actions cause things I can’t control.

Part 8 — Should Statements (Items 43–48)

43. I have rigid standards for myself.

44. I often feel guilty for not doing what I “should.”

45. I criticize myself for not meeting expectations.

46. I expect others to follow certain rules.

47. I get upset when things don’t go “the right way.”

48. I believe I “should” feel or act differently than I do.

Part 9 — Labeling (Items 49–54)

49. I call myself negative names when things go wrong.

50. I focus on character flaws instead of specific behaviors.

51. I label others harshly based on single actions.

52. I use words like “failure,” “loser,” “idiot,” or “worthless” toward myself.

53. I see people as “good” or “bad,” not complex.

54. I judge myself harshly for mistakes.

Part 10 — Discounting the Positive (Items 55–60)

55. I downplay my accomplishments.

56. I feel uncomfortable accepting praise.

57. I move quickly past success without acknowledging it.

58. I think the good things I do “don’t count.”

59. I believe anyone could do what I’ve done.

60. I focus on what went wrong instead of what went well.

Scoring Instructions

Step 1 — Add up scores for each section. Each distortion has six statements scored 0-4 with a minumum distortion of 0 and a max distortion of 24.

Step 2 — Interpret the Score from minimal (0-6), mild (7-12), moderate (13-18), and significant (19-24).

Step 3 — Intervention based on how strongly the distortion impacts your level of functioning. When there is a dominant cognitive distortion, there was something significant that happened for you to be more guarded in this domain. Approach the scores with kindness and understanding to recognize that if the number is high in mutliple categories, then it dictates that there is trauma, chronic anxiety, or mood instability influencing the number, but it doesn't have to be a forever thing. If the number is high for mind reading and personalization, then there is likely insecure attachment, people pleasing behaviors, or Borderline Personality Disorder dynamics. When I see high numbers for emotional reasoning and labeling, I tend to believe there is a lot of shame-based identity or remnants of childhood emotional neglect present. If there is high numbers for catastrophizing and fortune telling, then I am generally looking at anxiety disorders, PTSD, or obsessive worry loops. Finally, looking at high numbers for "Shoulds" and "All or Nothing", I am generally working with perfectionists, gifted students, people raised in harsh standards in their environment, or even religious rigidity. All things in life need balance!

Step 4 — Knowledge is power. You have the information, so now you can start chipping away at it. Each of the cognitive distortions are listed below. Check them out, ask yourself some miracle questions, and challenge your reality for you to start down the direction of a new reality for yourself.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Viewing things as entirely good or entirely bad — no grey area.

Impact: Leads to perfectionism, hopelessness, or sudden relationship shifts (“You always disappoint me.”).

“When something doesn’t go the way you hoped, do you tend to see it as a total failure?”

“Do you notice yourself using words like always, never, completely, or totally?”

Red flag responses: “Nothing ever works out.” “I always ruin everything.”

Distortion: “I’m either perfect or I’m a failure.”

How to challenge:

Introduce the Grey Zone:

“What exists between 0 and 100 here?”

Continuum Technique:

Draw a scale from 1–10 and ask,

“Where are you realistically on this scale—not at the extremes?”

Evidence review:

“What parts went well? Which parts didn’t? What’s in the middle?”

Effective reframe:

“Some of it was hard, but not all of it was bad.”

2. Catastrophizing

Expecting the worst-case scenario, even when it’s unlikely.

Impact: Increases anxiety, panic, avoidance.

Can trigger fight-or-flight responses (especially for trauma survivors).

“When something uncertain happens, does your mind jump to the worst possible outcome?”

“How quickly does your brain go from a small issue to a disaster scenario?”

Red flag responses: “If I make a mistake, everything will fall apart.”

Distortion: “This will be a disaster.”

How to challenge:

Probability check:

“What are the actual odds of the worst-case scenario?”

Best/Neutral/Worst Case:

“What’s the best that could happen? What’s most likely?”

Break down the fear:

“If the worst DID happen, what would you do next?”

Effective reframe:

“I can handle difficulties even if things don’t go perfectly.”

3. Overgeneralization

Using one event to predict all future events (“This always happens to me.”).

Impact: Creates a sense of helplessness or permanence.

Reinforces negative self-beliefs.

“Do you take one experience and assume all future situations will turn out the same way?”

“When something negative happens, do you think, ‘This always happens to me’?”

Red flag responses: Seeing patterns where none exist.

Distortion: “This always happens. Nothing ever works.”

How to challenge:

Ask for exceptions:

“Was there ever a time when the opposite was true?”

Limit the timeframe:

“Is this true for today or for your whole life?”

Narrow the scope:

“What specific part didn’t work—not everything, right?”

Effective reframe:

“This happened once (or a few times), not forever.”

4. Emotional Reasoning

Assuming that because you feel something, it must be objectively true.

Impact: Mood states become “evidence.”

Can escalate interpersonal conflict (“I feel rejected, so you must not care about me.”).

“Do you ever assume something must be true just because you feel it strongly?”

“Do your feelings ever override facts or evidence in your mind?”

Red flag responses: “I feel worthless, so I must be worthless.”

Distortion: “I feel it, so it must be true.”

How to challenge:

Name the emotion:

“What emotion is this? What’s it trying to tell you?”

Differentiate:

“Is this a feeling or a fact?”

Somatic grounding:

“Where is this emotion showing up in your body?”

Effective reframe:

“My feelings are valid, but they’re not evidence.”

5. Mind Reading

Believing you know what another person is thinking without evidence.

Impact: Damages relationships, Triggers defensiveness or withdrawal. Common in people who grew up needing to predict others’ moods to stay safe.

“Do you often believe you know what others are thinking about you without checking?”

“Do you assume others don’t like you, are upset with you, or will reject you?”

Red flag responses: “I know they’re judging me.”

Distortion: “I know what they’re thinking.”

How to challenge:

Ask for evidence:

“What proof do you have that they think this?”

Alternative explanations:

“If you had to guess three other reasons they might behave this way, what could they be?”

Reality testing:

“How often have your assumptions been wrong in the past?”

Effective reframe:

“I won’t assume—I'll check in.”

6. Fortune-Telling

Predicting negative outcomes as if they’re facts.

Impact: Increases avoidance (“No point trying; it won’t work.”). Reinforces depression or defeatist thinking.

“Do you predict negative outcomes before they happen?”

“Do you feel like you ‘just know’ things will go wrong?”

Red flag responses: “There’s no point trying—I already know how it ends.”

Distortion: “I already know this will go badly.”

How to challenge:

Look at past data:

“Has this situation ALWAYS ended badly?”

Ask for actual predictions:

“What specifically do you think will happen?”

Build flexibility:

“What is another possible outcome you’re not considering?”

Effective reframe:

“The future is flexible, not fixed.”

7. Personalization

Taking responsibility for things that are not fully under your control.

Impact: Excessive guilt and self-blame. Common in children of chaotic or neglectful households.

“Do you blame yourself for things that aren’t completely your responsibility?”

“Do you assume others’ reactions are because of something you did?”

Red flag responses: “If they’re upset, it must be my fault.”

Distortion: “It’s my fault.”

How to challenge:

Responsibility pie chart:

Divide a circle into slices for all contributing factors.

Perspective shifting:

“If someone else were in this situation, would you blame them?”

Zoom out:

“What else might be influencing this person’s behavior?”

Effective reframe:

“I’m responsible for my part—not everyone’s part.”

8. Should Statements

Rigid rules about how you or others “should” behave.

Impact: Creates shame when applied inward. Creates resentment when applied outward. Reinforces black-and-white moral thinking.

“Do you hold yourself or others to rigid rules about what people should or shouldn’t do?”

“Do you feel guilty or angry when these rules aren’t followed?”

Red flag responses: “I should be better than this.”

Distortion: “I should be better. People should act differently.”

How to challenge:

Reword should → prefer:

“I would prefer that I/they ____.”

Check whose rule it is:

“Where did this rule come from? Is it yours or someone else’s?”

Look for rigidity:

“Is this rule helping you—or punishing you?”

Effective reframe:

“My expectations can be flexible rather than rigid.”

9. Labeling

Assigning global, negative labels to yourself or others.

Impact: Freezes identity (“I’m a failure.”). In relationships, can turn disagreements into character attacks.

“Do you assign harsh labels to yourself or others when something goes wrong?”

“Instead of describing a behavior, do you use identity-based words?”

Red flag responses: “I’m a failure.” “They’re terrible people.”

Distortion: “I’m a failure. They’re toxic.”

How to challenge:

Shift from identity → behavior:

“Instead of ‘I’m a failure,’ what did you do that didn’t meet your expectations?”

Deconstruct the label:

“What does that label even mean? How accurate is it?”

Add nuance:

“What are exceptions to this label?”

Effective reframe:

“This is a behavior or mistake—not my entire identity.”

10. Discounting the Positive

Rejecting or minimizing positive experiences or achievements.

Impact: Keeps self-esteem chronically low. Prevents emotional progress even when circumstances improve.

“When you do something well, do you downplay it or dismiss it?”

“Do you feel uncomfortable acknowledging your strengths or accomplishments?”

Red flag responses: “Anyone could do that.”

Distortion: “It doesn’t count. Anyone could do it.”

How to challenge:

Ask: “What would you say to a friend?”

Builds self-compassion.

Slow praise processing:

Sit with the positive feedback for 10 seconds.

Evidence from others:

“Has anyone else noticed this strength?”

Effective reframe:

“The positive parts matter too.”

History Mapping:

1. What happened?

(Get concrete details.)

2. What thoughts went through your mind?

(List exact phrases.)

3. How intense were the emotions?

(Scale of 0–10.)

4. What did you do next?

(Behavioral clue.)

5. Which of these patterns match the thoughts?

How Cognitive Distortions Impact Life

1. Emotions

⦁ Distorted thoughts directly amplify painful emotions:

⦁ Anxiety spikes when the mind predicts danger.

⦁ Depression deepens when the mind discounts the positive.

⦁ Shame intensifies when the mind labels the self as defective.

2. Behaviors

⦁ Avoidance

⦁ Withdrawal

⦁ People-pleasing

⦁ Self-sabotage

⦁ Overreacting

⦁ Perfectionism

3. Relationships

⦁ Miscommunication

⦁ Unmet needs

⦁ Escalated conflicts

⦁ Fear-based assumptions

⦁ Clinging or distancing behaviors

⦁ Difficulty trusting (common with trauma or BPD)

4. Self-Esteem & Identity

Distortions reinforce:

⦁ Negative self-beliefs

⦁ Shame-based narratives

⦁ Learned helplessness

⦁ Identity formed around survival instead of authenticity

5. Decision Making

When thinking is skewed:

⦁ Decisions become emotional rather than logical.

⦁ People act based on fear, not values.

⦁ Long-term planning becomes difficult.