Embracing the Dog

Picture your emotions as this dog: a mangy mutt you have no interest in adoptime but who has somehow set p residence in your life. You have tried everything to get rid of this pesky best. Why wouldn't you? There he is, day after day, under your desk at work, pulling at your pant lef, jumping on you in the grocery store, distracting you while you try to drive. He doesn't smell great, either. You ask a coworker to take him off your hands. She politely says no, that she already has a few dogs of her own. You try locking this dog out of your hourse or keeping him in the garage. You even try leaving him at the park - not just any park, the one all the way across town, but there he is on the doorstep when you get home. He just sits there, waiting for you.

There are mornings when you wake up certain this dog isn't going to bother you today, but within a few hours, he turns up, barking outside your shower door or pawing at you on your lunch break. Every day, you are getting more frustrated, more and more convinced that until you get rid of this dog, you'll be living in hell. You think, I won't be able to stand another day of this. You think, If this dog doesn't leave me alone soon, I'm going to go crazy.

It never occurs to you to embrace the dog. He is here to stay after all. He is a part of your life, like it or not. You may not have invited him intoy your world, but he sure isn't leaving it. Can you accept that? Can you accept this dog?

Now imagine that you take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and take a good, long look at this dog. He isn't scary, really - more irritating than anything else. He just seems so needy, always scrambling for attention. Something inside you begins to surrender. You give up. You shrug your shoulders, bend down, and pet the dog.

The strangest thing happens. He calms down. He stops nipping at you, stops pulling at your pant leg, and rolls over. Mystified, you stroke his belly for a minute and then make him a bowl of food. He eats, finds a place near where you are sitting, curls up, and falls asleep.

This goes on for months. The dog is always near you; he never fully leaves you alone. A couple of times a day, you have to feed him and show him some affection. If you don't, he goes back to his old ways. He starts nipping and snarling, and driving you nuts. But as long as you notice him when he needs to be noticed, he isn't that much of a bother. He's always there, but not so much of a nuisance - just part of life.

Think of all the time you might have wasted battling that dog. Maybe days, weeks, months, or even years! You waste just as much time and energy trying to get rid of your emotions. Just like the dog, they are here to stay.

They are a part of your life.

From The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction by: Rebecca E. Williams, PhD & Julie S. Kraft, MA